Be Happy

As the Queen of Hip Hop/ R& B famously sung:

All I really want
is to be happy
And to find a love that’s mine
It would be so sweet

The reason why this springs to mind is that since I reentered the singles market I have kept myself really busy by having several dates a week with several people. On the whole they have been fun as I may, or may not be, as is often the case close to the centre of attention. However, when I have to spend any length of time by myself I start to panic and realise that I’m not completely happy with the current hand that life has dealt me.

Will my dating result in finding that Special Someone who’s all mine or will I have to settle for second best.

The Original FB is still around. Our relationship is still pretty much based on our Wednesday night visit, except I didn’t see him this week, but should be seeing him tonight…if I go out raving. He still has commitment issues which is cool with me at the moment but then I also have my needy moments and would like to know that I don’t have to wait a whole week to see him.

Pretty Man is still on the scene. I do really like him but I have handled the situation all wrong as I for want of a phrase “freed up” too soon. I couldn’t help it as I fancy the pants off him and I was overcome by the moment. This was done without having a conversation to establish what we both wanted, but as per usual it seems that it will never get beyond the booty call. I am still trying to go out on our first date.

I have also been on a date with a guy I will call Toy Boy.  Will see how that progresses.  Can’t be any worse than Peter who has claimed that he misses me… or my skills.

I will finish as I started, all I really want is to be happy.

Finding Mr Perfect

The past week or so since my last verbal download has once again been coloured with dates, as well as hanging out with my girls.

I’ve spent time with the Original FB. He’s now provided me with a copy of his weekly schedule due to the fact he has to split time between his football (playing) and his daughter. I was asked whether I believed that the only time he had available for me was on a Wednesday. It’s really surprising because I actually do. I don’t mind actually, as it gives me something to look forward to midweek. It’s not even always about the sex, as we are able to talk about a lot of things and the company is good.

I also went out with Peter. He has started to irritate me as our dates now seem to consist of going to Nandos. Not to say that I have anything against Nandos, but I do feel that if you are still trying to impress a girl maybe you shouldn’t complain about a £15 meal. I did not free up as I have come to the conclusion that if he can’t acknowledge me when I backed in a corner he should not reap the benefits of my acquaintance. He was not very impressed. But you know what who cares. I don’t. To be polite he was extracting the urine. I mean do I have a handle for arms and is my name mug? We do get on though which is important

Things seem to be going okay with Pretty Man. We will be hooking up at some point over the weekend. Will definitley be looking for signs as he seems lovely, but there must be a reason why he’s not been snapped up. As mentioned before he is absolutely gorgeous and good enough to eat. He is also extremely charming and polite. His voice is melodious when he speaks and I am still in a daze, nearly four weeks after meeting.

I was asked how I could like multiple people. Its really strange as they are all different. If all their positive constituent parts were combined I would have found myself the perfect man. If you find him though let me know.

To reuse, recycle or discard for good (2) – Digging in the bin.

I promised I would return to the issue of digging in the bin, and the merits of doing this.

Many of the discarded men have attempted to get back into my life. One of my good friends thinks that I am on a path to self destruction as I am talking to people that I decided were no good for me.

The current contents of the bin that are hoping to be reused are, in no particular order:

• “The One from my Ends” aka “Trouble” with a capital T. Even during my relationship he was a constant presence. Some would say like a bad smell. I was convinced we had got into the friend zone but I was mistaken. I have thought long and hard about why it didn’t work out between the two of us the first time around, and I realised that despite the obvious sizzle/ chemistry there is an obvious flaw to any plan… I swear he is a major fantasist. Booty calls with the premise that he is going away for a while. As can be seen there is no reason to revisit this. Drama would be the result.  Despite being sexy as hell it could be argued that he is an archetypical wasteman as the list of issues are too long to mention.  Result: Discard.
• “The Original FB”.  An FB for those that aren’t aware is a guy who seems content with a no strings relationship.  My FB is a guy I’ve known for years.  He was originally the rebound guy following the break up of a previous relationship.  He helped me through it, and is a great shoulder to lean on.  However, as some might say I can’t get it twisted – he is a major commitment phobe.  In all the years I’ve known him he has never had a serious girlfriend, just a series of links.  This is why he is in the bin.  Result: Reuse with potential for recycling.

I’m sure  more may resurface, they always do.  Just can’t think of them at the moment.